Restoring Faith on Humanity

I grew up believing that we live in this world alone. Regardless of how many people you have around you or how protected you are by the people you love, in the end, only you will be there for yourself. No one else and nothing else matters. No matter how many good deeds you have done, how much sacrifices you have made, in the end, it will not matter. A rather realistic and perhaps cold way to look at life but I have always believed that that is how life goes and I was not planning to change that belief.

Until the day I lost my beloved sister in June this year. A tragic and unexpected loss. A nightmare.

My lovely sister, Susan Mahinder.

My beautiful, 28-year-old sister who has been one of the most influential person in my life and my idea of how a strong and independent women would be like was suddenly gone. I was not ready to lose her and never will I ever be. It was a devastating blow to me and my small family.

It was at that moment of complete darkness that I restored my faith in humanity.

My sister had been diagnosed with Nephrotic syndrome since early January and have been in and out of the hospital ever since. Although we are naturally worried for her, we are also well aware of the fact that it is not a deadly disease and there is a high possibility of a full recovery. Above all, we know she is strong enough to face the challenge. Unfortunately, we were wrong as she got an infection in her last stay in the hospital and was immediately in a very critical stage. Within less than a week, we lost her.

I was having my examination in University Malaysia Sarawak in her final days and was unable to be there for her. The moment my exam was over, I flew all the way to Sabah only to know that it was too late. When I got to the hospital, the entry of the HDU (High Dependency Unit) was filled with people I hardly know. They were my sister’s friends that I have never even known existed. People around me, including strangers, melancholically hugged me. Still shaken and feeling as sad as sadness was possible, we have to immediately decide on how the funeral would go about as it is in our culture to have the funeral the very next day. Something that have always been a taboo to talk about.

We had no choice but to have two separate journeys back home. My brother and mother driving from Kota Kinabalu to our village in Kiulu. While I followed the hearse to the mortuary where they will prep my sister for the funeral and where I have to choose a coffin for her before we go back to the village.

How do you choose the best place where the person you love so much lay in eternally?
How should you decide what they should wear for the last time everyone they know will ever see them?
It was the most difficult decision I’ve ever made in my life.

When I finally got to the village, everything was ready. The house was filled with friends and families. Our kitchen was occupied by neighbors from the village who prepared food for us and our guests. They even brought with them the ingredients needed to cook the dishes. I was overwhelmed by the sincerity as this was not something I am used to. My sister and I grow up in completely different surroundings since we are from different mothers. My sister and her mother live in the nurturing and caring society in the beautiful village in Kiulu while my brother and I grew up with our mother in the more individualistic town in Johor. People coming together to help us go through our difficult times was something I don’t expect in this day and age. They did anything they are capable of doing, be it cooking for us or comforting us or praying for us or arranging for the service in church and even helping us bury my sister in the lot prepared for her. These people were not paid or even requested to do so. They do it simply because they choose to do it. They do it for the sake of goodness. Not expecting anything in return.

People helping us during the funeral

Their altruism does not end with the funeral. I was living the village for the next two month before I have to go back to my university for the next semester. My experience with them in the preceding two months was incredibly beautiful. There are so many times I almost felt to tears as I witness how they treated us with so much love and care. They made sure someone will come to our house every day so that it won’t be too lonely and sad in there. They occasionally bring fruits they have got from their orchard to us. In fact, a kind old man build a little garage with his own hands for my sister’s car as it needed shelter. It was their kindness and warmth that assist us throughout those difficult days. These are small things that made a huge difference in my life. Changing my whole philosophy of life.

So, I was wrong. We are never alone in this world and kindness is everywhere. Even in the darkest and most unexpected time, there will be a brilliant light of a kind heart.

My sister has always given me inspiring stories about life. Perhaps this is her last inspiration for me.

Thank you, dear sister.